A long drive to a clear heart
by wimseyfive87
Summary: Morgan can't bear going to Hodges' wedding to another woman, so she takes a long drive into the desert to clear her head and heart. Little does she know there's a surprise waiting for her at home.


_This is my first attempt at a fanfiction in a really long time. I had computer issues, and then fear issues, etc. I've really gotten into the whole Modges relationship and really hope that pans out on the show. They're just so cute together! Anyway, here goes!_

Morgan slammed the locker door loud enough to cause it to echo through the entire crime lab. With shaking fingers, she fumbled with the lock. For some reason, her fingers had turned traitor on her and she dropped the lock. Choking down a sob, she pressed a flushed cheek against the cool steel of the locker and closed her eyes. _She was not going to lose it here...she was not going to let them see her cry..._

"Morgan, are you coming? We're going to be late. The last thing I need is to be on Hodges' hit list because I missed his wedding. I'll never hear the end of it." Greg poked his head into the locker room.

"You know, I think I'll meet you there." She refused to look at her friend and kept her back to him. Frowning, he entered the locker room.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, fine. I – I just have some things to finish up. That's all." She nodded frantically, her corn silk hair shaking across her shoulders. "You go on ahead."

"Morgan?" He touched her shoulder gently, but it was like he had stabbed her with a pin. She collapsed like a deflated balloon onto the bench. The sobs came out her now – wrenching painfully out her gut as if a piece of her were dying.

"I can't do it, Greg. I can't go to this wedding. I'm tired of pretending and I'm tired of lying. I can't be happy for Hodges and that – that-"

"Bimbo?" Greg raised an eyebrow. He sat beside her, holding her hand gently as she cried. She choked out a laugh, then stared miserably at him.

"I love him. He's my best friend and I love him. I can't be with him and it's killing me a little more every day. I tried to tell him what I thought – what I thought of her, but he just shot me down. I realized then that I didn't want to lose him – even as a friend. I thought I could do it, but whenever I see them together-"

"It's like a knife in the gut, right?"

She nodded weakly, wiping her face with the back of her hand as the tears dwindled away.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Well, kinda. Before the fembot showed up, we all thought you two were already an item. I mean, you guys hung out together all the time after work. Plus, you were about the only one in the lab who could up with his lousy jokes."

"He's my best friend," she said, mournfully.

"Yeah, that's what makes it harder for you. You don't want to lose the friendship, but you can't support the marriage either."

"Oh, my God, what am I going to do? I can't even look at him anymore without wanting to cry. I can't do it. I just _can't. _Greg, what do I do?"

Greg took a deep breath.

"You go home, order some take out, relax, whatever it is you need to do. Then tomorrow, you come to work. You do your job. The next time you see Hodges you talk to him. You be his friend. I get that today's hard, but I don't think he could ever forgive you if you never wanted to see him again."

Morgan looked long and hard at her friend. The words hurt, but they were the right words. It wouldn't be fair to anyone if she ran away with a broken heart. There was nothing she could do – this wasn't some Julia Roberts movie where she could stop a wedding and win back her man. Hodges had made his choice. It broke her heart to think he would chose someone like Elizabeta, but it was his choice. He was still her friend no matter what happened. She had to accept that and treasure it. Then she could hopefully try to move on with her life.

"When did you get to be so wise?" she asked, smiling slowly. Greg shrugged and stood up. He buttoned his suit jacket.

"Best friends that find true love? I guess I'm jealous."

"Greg-" she called, but he had already left the locker room.

Slowly, she stood up and shakily grabbed her purse. Thoughts and emotions still bounced around inside of her body like eternal ping pongs. She had to clear her head and her heart, or she would go mad. She squinted at the bright beacon lights of Vegas as they reflected off of her car. She needed to get out of town - now.

Before too long, the Vegas city lights were dim fireflies in Morgan's rear view mirror. Surrounding her for miles and miles, was a dark, empty desert and an infinite sky. A kind of eternal peace reigned over the area. A cool breeze came through her open window and fluttered her hair, soothed her warm cheeks.

She was always one to take a drive whenever life proved too painful or confusing. She got it from her mom, she supposed. She remembered it drove her father nuts when her mother would just take off at all hours of the night just to get away and think. Morgan had started doing the exact same thing as soon as she could drive. There was just something about the rhythmic noises and movements of her car that calmed her. She doubted there would ever be enough road or night to mend a broken heart, but the driving helped. Everything was still too jagged and fresh– the edges of all her emotions and memories kept her constantly in pain. She didn't have clue one as to how to accept that her best friend and true love would now be married to a green card snatching slut. But she knew she had to try – otherwise she'd lose Hodges forever. There wouldn't be enough highway in the world to heal _that_ jagged wound.

Morgan kept driving into the endless desert night, hoping the arid wind would capture her pain and carry deep into the desert. There it could stay buried under sand dunes and tumbleweeds – forgotten by everyone, including herself. It seemed the only way to move on with her life and her career. She didn't want to lose such tender feelings, but she couldn't suffer under them for all time. She sighed and tried to let the night guide her to a least a temporary calm state of mind.

Hours later, with an empty gas tank and a semi-settled mind, Morgan pulled up into her driveway. As she locked her car and shook out her house key, she didn't see the shadow of a man sitting on her front porch.

"Morgan! There you are! Where have you been? You didn't come to the wedding and I've been looking all over town for you."

Hodges stood up and angrily confronted Morgan who gave a slight scream in surprise. He was unshaven, his usually neat hair mussed and he was minus his tie. When she caught her breath again, bitterness began to bubble up inside of her. He had a lot of nerve to come to her house, acting the jealous boyfriend.

"I needed to clear my head. Besides, what business is it of yours where I go anyway? You made your choice, Hodges. Go back to your Italian Barbie doll and leave me alone. You lost any rights to me when you married that bimbo."

Confusion quickly displaced the anger on Hodges' face. "Morgan-"

"Please, just go away," she begged quietly, her eyes refusing to meet his. "I just want to go to bed and forget this night ever happened."  
She started to walk past him, but he gently grabbed her arm to stop her. She internally collapsed at his touch, her bitterness flooding out of her as quickly as it came. She knew the tears were close behind. "Please."

"You didn't hear? Nobody called you?"

"I told you, I went for a drive. I was in the desert – there's not any good reception out there. Probably for good reason."

"Morgan," he turned her so she could face him, but she still couldn't look up at him. To be this close to him was making her tremble with a dozen different emotions. "I didn't marry her."

"What?" she stared at him in surprise and confusion.

"Elizabeta. I didn't marry her. What everyone said was true – she was only after me for a green card. She bailed on me as soon as she found some other sucker – only this one was rich. Of course, I didn't figure it out till I had been standing at the alter for 20 minutes waiting for her to show up and having my entire friends and family watch me."

"What?" Morgan just looked at him. She couldn't make her brain believe the words she was hearing. Was she hallucinating?

Hodges was now smiling and slowly rubbing his hands over her arms. "When I figured out what had happened, I knew everyone was waiting for some kind of nervous breakdown. Everyone was waiting for Mr. Know-it-all fall apart because he'd been dumped at the alter. The weird thing was - I wasn't upset. I didn't feel hurt at all. I realized then that I hadn't really loved Elizabeta at all. It was just an excuse. I told everyone to just hit the reception anyway- God knows I paid enough for the buffet room – and I went looking for my best friend. I suddenly had to see you."

"I couldn't go – I couldn't stand there and watch you marry her," Morgan whispered, her brain now beginning to process that what she was hearing was reality.

"I looked everywhere for you. I even wanted your father to mobilize the entire sheriff's department to look for you."

"Why would you want to talk to me?" she breathed, watching him closely.

He looked away and dropped his hands. He turned and moved to sit on the porch steps. "Do you know why I really thought I'd be happy with Elizabeta?"

She shook her head.

"It was because I didn't think I'd get to be with anyone better. She was beautiful, passionate, and, well, beautiful. I'd wasted every other chance at love and I didn't think I'd get another one. I mean, I'm not exactly the greatest catch in town."

Morgan sat next to him on the steps. "Don't say that. You know you're funny and handsome and kind and sweet and caring and -"

"And?" he whispered. He looked as frightened as Morgan felt.

"And anyone would be an idiot not to love you. I know I fell for you."

The words now gushed out of Hodges as if they had been stuck inside of him for months.

"Morgan. I'm so sorry. I never should have been with Elizabeta. I mean, after that kiss in the hospital, I thought maybe we might have something, but you refused to talk about it. I didn't want to say anything either in case that screwed up our friendship. I kept seeing you around Greg and I thought, well, there's a cute couple. And-"

"David, shut up," she whispered and pulled him in for a sweet, tender kiss. He kissed her back just as gently and sweetly. It was a long time before they were able to stop and take a moment to think again.

"So what do we do now?" Hodges asked as he hugged Morgan closer to him. The late night had grown cool, but the pair hardly noticed.

"I don't' know." she said. Beyond the opposite row of houses, the morning dawn was starting to brighten the night sky. "I guess I never thought about what could happen next."

A little doubtfully, he looked at her and caressed her cheek. "Are you sorry?"

She shook her head.

"Not on your life. I feel freer than I've felt in a long time."

"But what about work? I don't want to be a subject of gossip like Sara and Grissom. And what about our parents? I have to tell you, they looked cozier than ever at the reception."  
"It's not going to be easy," Morgan agreed. "People are going to talk at the lab. We'll probably get teased by everyone from D.B to Henry, and our parents will probably have a thing or two to say about it. But this feels so right. I haven't felt this good in a really long time."

"Me either." Hodges gave her a reassuring kiss. He then nervously began to fidget and clear his throat. "What do we do right now? It's almost morning and you're probably tired. Do you want me to stay or -"

Morgan smiled. The thought of spending the night with Hodges both thrilled and frightened her as it sent shivers up her spine. She stood up and held out her hand. He looked up at her with the eyes of a deer in the headlights. She laughed and pulled him to his feet.

"Right now, you can buy me breakfast," she breathed and gave him a quick kiss. "And after that, I think we'll have plenty of time to figure things out."


End file.
